Finding Inspiration with a Heavy Heart

 


This morning I had every intention of writing up a lovely Friday inspiration post about an article I recently read in the New Yorker. The article, written by Jhumpa Lahiri, talks about her journey to learn Italian, and how learning the language opened up a new world for her. It was light, it was sweet, it was insightful.

I am not writing that post today because, before I could do so, I was called into a meeting. I walked into a not well lit room where students and teachers were listening to the Vice-Rector of our campus give some disturbing news. A student was kidnapped and murdered. We all need to be careful. We all need to be mindful. And we all need to take care of ourselves and each other.

I cannot imagine getting that call, that call that your child is dead. The word is so final. There is no possibility left in it. And yet, after this meeting, we are expected to go on: to class, to labs, to holiday travels. How do we continue to find inspiration in moments like this where our blood has run just slightly colder?

Everyone has their theories as to why this happened. We arm ourselves with them; they help us feel safe. But the reality is that sometimes these things just happen. Maybe you could have been more guarded with your information, maybe you could have made sure to take a buddy along, and maybe you could have skipped that late night concert, and maybe trouble still would have befallen you. Living in fear is not living.

In moments like this, after I have taken a moment to feel for those affected, especially the parents, I try to remember that there is still life to live. That there is still ground under my feet, breath in my lungs, and possibility in my path. A life was taken, but how many more lives came into the world? We know when we enter into this earthly realm that at some point we will have to leave it. Knowing that demands that we get every drop of life out that we can, whatever that looks like for us.

I am sad that this student is gone. I am sad that so many people lose there lives everyday because of violence and ugliness. And I can only pray that those people were able to enjoy the lives that they did have. I can only pray that those people did not suffer too much in death. And I can only pray that the rest of us, with the time that we are granted, will use it well.