Sometimes you just have to throw up your hands

I have been a teacher for almost 7 years now. I've worked in public schools, private schools, a language center, a four year university, and a 2 year community college. I have encountered students who were incredibly motivated and students who were so lazy that I cancelled classes. I feel like I am at a crossroads with this whole teaching gig, and that this semester will be a make or break. Anyone who believes that old adage Those who can do, and those who can't teach. have NO idea what it is like to face the classroom everyday. Sometimes I want to just throw up my hands and make my living as a working artist. It would surely put me in a hand-to-mouth situation, but at least I would have my sanity. It is not easy bringing home the stress of a long teaching day. The joyful days are becoming fewer and fewer for me, and I'm not really sure what else I can do. I've played games, done group work, done individual instruction, and flat out asked the students what they wanted. With midterm right around the corner I am in a constant state of disbelief at my students' behavior. I still have students coming in to class 10-15 minutes late. I still have students feeling they should be able to make-up major assignments if they forget to do them on time. And I still have students that feel like as long as they give me an answer, it doesn't matter if the answer is correct. And please, don't get me started on cellphones and i-pods. Earbuds have now become my enemy. I want to believe that things will start to look up again. The fact is that most of my students are invested. It is for those students that I have early mornings and late nights. It is for those students that I continue to do this. How long I will continue to do it is yet to be seen.

Fashion Show

When I moved back to the Marshall Islands, there was little here that I found to be "amazing". I had grown used to the palm trees, beautiful ocean views, and intricate handicrafts. I needed a shake up to wake me up. So, what better thing than the first annual Marshallese Fashion show? It was a little ragtag to start, but the fashion designs ranged between interesting and extraordinary. There were three categories: Traditional, Creative, and Original. The traditional category was by far the strongest. I'm not really sure what the difference was between creative and original, but I would say the original category presented the most creative designs. How's that for a mindbender! Anyway, here are the highlights.

Sundays to Relax

I am what you would call a do-er. I don't quite feel like I'm present in the world unless I'm doing something. This makes my weekends pretty busy, and often with work related activities. My friends are always asking me to come and picnic with them on Sundays, and I usually beg off saying I have things to do. These past 2 Sundays, however, I surprised them all by showing up at the dock ready to head over to Enemanit, the picnic island. At first it was kinda hard for me to allow myself to just sit and relax and bwebwenato (chat) with the girls. I wasn't doing anything and I started to get grumpy about it. After a about an hour, though, the whole relaxing thing started to feel pretty good. I flopped around a bit in the lagoon, strolled around the island, picked up a few shells, and even took a rest in a hammock. When I got home, I was relaxed, but not exhausted. It actually felt good to have taken a day just to unwind. I am hoping that I can make a habit of this. Everyone should have a day where they can just stretch out and let their minds drift a bit. Sure, I had a few extra things waiting on my desk on Monday. But, I was in much better spirits when I went in to work. Do you have a day when you do "nothing"? Share your relax experiences here.

Publishing Publishing Publishing

Hi All out there in Blog land,

I forgot to report my most fabulous news of all that happened last week. I was published on The Coil Review! Click here to read the article. I hope to become a regular contributor, which would mean a new article every month.

Also, I have a poem in rotation on the Poetry Ark! If you click here you can have a read, and vote on the poem. You have to register a username and password to vote, but after that you can access all the poems on the database at any time. I'm hoping I will make it to the final round. Any help from you all would be greatly appreciated.

Yokwe Yokwe

Well, I have officially been in the Marshall Islands for over a month. I can honestly say that I have adjusted. Life here is starting to feel more tranquil and more normal. I am able to enjoy the people around me, without having to tiptoe around grief and sadness. There are so many wonderful little joys to each day:

Sitting and talking with my landlady over tea and cookies
Playing with my friend L's kitten
Making new earrings and bracelets and necklaces with my new beading buddy A
Feeding my dear sweet yard cat Ocean
Watching new baby chicks scramble around the yard after mama hen
Taking in miles and miles of stars after a power outage

I feel like my breathing is coming much easier now.
What small joys have you experienced today?